Chopper On Tour

Te Anau - tramping capital of the World

Well folks, I left Dunedin on Wednesday lunchtime for a place called Te Anau. The route took me through Milton, Balclutha, Gore, Lumsden and finally to Te Anau... a 4.5 hour coach trip, but beautiful nonetheless. Oh dear, I forgot to mention Peggydale where I saw an extraordinary advert for something called FAGG'S Coffee, which is made in a place called Ponsonby, it's slogan goes as follows....'FAGG'S-The Great Straight Coffee...Not as Ponsonby as the name suggests'... totally odd I thought, not sure that we would get away with that in Clapham.

Now let me tell you some more about Te Anau. It is in a region called Southland, famous for its Milford Sound (which in fact is a fiord and not a sound for all you geologists out there) the area is predominantly of Scottish heritage and there is also a significant Maori population.
Fiordland is part of Southland and home to the Fiordland National Park, part of Te Wahipounamu World Heritage Area which includes the most famous walks in NZ, for which to actually walk some of them there is a waiting list of over 1 year!!
So Te Anau, my hostel looks directly onto Lake Te Anau which is, how does one say... f***ing awesome, that's it. It is the 2nd largest lake in NZ, after Lake Taupo (North Island). Te Anau is therefore the sightseeing walking capital of the world, with some walks undertaken by the true pros that last up to 10 days. This kind of walking is known as 'TRAMPING'.. and no folks I don't mean that kind of tramping, the kind that consists of sitting on park benches in your slippers drinking Kestrel Super and masturbating like a baboon.. I mean trekking.

So I arrived Weds and had a hilarious first night. It was quite late so I stretched my legs for an hour and headed to The Moose for some nosh and beer. Here I met Paul 1, the lumberjack, Paul 2 - the butcher and Andrew the builder... utter loons! Yes, we got drunk together between a few games of pool. Now I will stop here as this is where something odd happened, my new found pals after about 5 games decided to stop playing me as they were convinced that I was a pro and therefore some sort of Pool Shark!!! Well I was playing the best pool of my life, and the booze for once was not becoming a hindrance... It was now that I turned my attention to the TAB machine,no not more fags, this is a betting machine..kinda like having a bookies in the pub but with the human element removed. I decided to put a dollar on Zac Callum in the 11.10pm, I can't even remember whether it was a dog or a horse, I think it was a dog. However it won and I pulled in $18.90, rock and roll let's all have a pear. Then we decided to leave to go to 'The Ranch', a peculiar venue, not for the faint hearted. I do remember walking home with Paul 2 and him saying: "Jeez we's ginna be crooked in the mornin" (hungover), he was right.

Thurs I dragged myself to the boat for the 30 min trip across Lake Te Anau to Cavern House home of the Te Anau Glowworm Caves, the only ones of their kind in the S.Hemisphere. You basically enter a strange underground world of rock formations, fossils, waterfalls and whirlpools then finally to a cavern of total silence and darkness.... the glowworm grotto. What an experience..

Today.. Friday I was up at 7am, said bye to Barry and Bridget from Iowa, my roommates(mentalists).. he kept calling me Edge (I mean what sort of anus is called Edge!) and was picked up by Curly (bus driver) with Bruce and Shirley from Taranaki on board (on holiday from N.Island) to head to the cruise on Milford Sound. Briefly... Milford Sound is a 22km long fiord dominated by the 1695m Mitre Peak mirrored in the water below, dotted with spectacular waterfalls, one.. Bowen Falls, drops 160m - that's higher than Niagara!! I decided to pay extra to be taken to the stunning underwater observatory to see the life in the fiord, I was not disappointed.

Then my world and my life took on board something that I am still struggling to comprehend.....
I decided that being where I am in one of the most magical parts of the world, that I would do something that I knew would be more than just memorable. I decided to FLY back from Milford to Te Anau up and over the mountains, at a cost but it had to be done. Originally as I was the only person booked (they like to have 2 people to make the books balance a bit better) and they would not let me fly, but I begged them and they folded! SO I met Russell my pilot for the day and he drove me to the plane. Now this is the type of plane that you see and then say: "I'm f***ed if I am going up in that thing!" but I did! Russell the pilot and Chopper the passenger up front alongside him. As many of you know I hate flying but this was something totally different, I simply had no time to be scared/terrified I was totally in awe of what I was seeing. It was 40 mins of magic, but it seemed like hours. I even enjoyed landing in the field outside the town. I feel privileged to have done this and what I saw up there will stay with me forever..

Right it is here that I sat down and thought about something that I wish to leave you with....
Attractive and magical places (and occasionally people/women) typically render us/me aware of our/my inadequacies with language. I mean..yes, the scenery was breathtaking and life here is incredible but somehow that description needs more depth but I simply cannot find the right words to do today justice.

What I will say is that it was one of the best days of my life...Over and out as Chopper heads to Queenstown tomorrow morn for some adrenalin pumping action..

posted by Ed Beesley @ 2:40 AM