breaking
up is hard to do
How do you survive a heartbreak without letting it ruin your life? Globeroom
gives some good advice
When you’ve just split with a long-term partner, no amount of well-meaning advice can really cushion the blow. And, as anyone who’s ever been there will tell you, there’s no surefire cure for a broken heart. One minute you and your soul mate are inseparable, sharing your most intimate thoughts and feelings, the next you’re crossing busy streets to avoid each other; your social life and work are suffering and you can’t sleep. Welcome to Dumpsville, population: you.
Whether you’re the dumper or dumpee, feelings of sorrow, anger, loneliness, anxiety, blame, loss and depression are inevitable and the grieving process a very personal and individual thing. Fear not though. There are ways to ease the pain. Just follow Globeroom’s simple guide to getting over your ex, and breaking up needn’t turn your life upside down.
Acknowledge your grief
and vent your anger. Suppressing your feelings is harder on the body and
mind than actually going through them.
1) Wail out loud - it might just help. Just make sure there’s no-one
around to hear you.
2) Kick things. But not your ex. Globeroom will accept no responsibility
for the incitement of violence
3) Write sad poems to speed the cathartic process. But be careful - if
your mates find out, their sympathy will soon give way to helpless, raucous
laughter.
4) Pamper yourself. Good self-care habits are crucial for your health
at this difficult time.
Accept that it’s
over.
1) Don’t try to get even - it’ll just drain your personal energy
and make everybody else think you’re a loon.
2) Don’t live in the past. This is going to take time. Best not delay
it with rose-tinted memories of yesteryear.
3) Pack away mementoes and pictures of your time together. Don’t
throw them away as you might regret it later.
4) Go out and meet new people to take your mind off things. Just make
sure you don’t end up getting into another serious relationship before
you’ve offloaded some of that inevitable emotional baggage.
Get used to thinking
of yourself as a single person again.
1) Catch up with old mates that you may not have seen for a while.
2) Find some new hobbies and revive some old ones.
3) Re-invent yourself. This is a very common break-up symptom among women,
but it will help you reassert your individuality.
4) Throw yourself into your work, but don’t withdraw completely from
your workmates. If you feel the strain, think of this: if you’re
this miserable now, how much worse would it be if you lost your job?
And finally, make
yourself a compilation tape to lift you up when you’re feeling down.
Go for some real feelgood, ‘I’m over it’ stuff - songs
like "What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted" are probably best
avoided.
1) Lovelorn ladies should try assertive feminist classics like "I’m
Gonna Wash That Man Right out of my Hair", "These Boots are
made for Walkin" and "I Will Survive".
2) For the spurned gent, country greats "You’re the reason our
kids are so ugly" and "If you see me gettin’ smaller it’s
cause I’m leavin’ you" are best. If nothing else makes
you feel better, these uplifting tunes surely will.
Links
Breakup Girl: Advice for the lovelorn.
Dating advice with Brenda Ross: Breakup advice and links.
Accurate Advice by Uncle Tom: Free advice from a non-expert.
Relate: Relationship skills for love, family and life.
AboutYourBreakup.com: Self-explanatory site ran by the ludicrously named
Tigress Luv.
