get loved
up
Finding time to concentrate on your love life is really worth it. Good
sex is relaxing and invigorating and lots of fun. Dr Kirsty Leon suggests
some sensual ways to get in the mood
I believe there are many roads to Rome – and to good sex. By freeing ourselves of inhibitions, releasing old beliefs about our sexual capacities and learning the skill necessary, we can reach sexual ecstacy again and again.
First, it’s important to set your mind at ease and into the mood for sex to happen. Clear your mind of the thoughts of the day. Stop that inner chatter, and focus on being about to receive your due pleasure. Turn off the telephone and make time for you.
Set the mood
Start with sensual time. Run a bath and light candles while pouring in your favourite bubbles and scent. I recommend aromatherapy salts (found in most department and bath stores) to stimulate moods and relax body, mind and spirit. Put relaxing and romantic music on the CD player, set aside some soothing body lotion or oils (natural is best), and dive into the warmth of the water for relaxation time. If your lover is with you, even better. This is a great way to relax together and get in the mood for lovemaking.
Couples report to me that there really is nothing to match a sensual massage for letting go and coming together. Take your turns to give and receive this touch, softly, firmly, gently, slowly, to produce even more relaxation. Remember that great sex usually only occurs in relaxed bodies, so take the time to prepare yourself.
Find your hot spots
If you need some help, there are excellent teaching videos that show explicitly how to give a great sensual massage. Most women report that they need to by kissed before feeling sexual. Perhaps that’s because for some women kissing ‘feels’ more intimate than sexual intercourse and turns on the loving emotions. In some ancient lovemaking traditions, passionate kissing is done only with those you truly love and trust. If your partner is an ‘air kisser’, teach them how to really kiss.
Only you and your
partner will know what does the trick for the rest of your anatomy, your
sexual response pattern, your own relationship and the interactions that
emerge between you two. Each couple has their own manner of expressing
sexual energy, sharing loving feelings and lustful ones. Find your own
brand and then add to it, like candles on the cake.
