'No place like a
home'
Jennifer Choy's experience of helping out in a Toronto Soup Kitchen
I
woke up at 5:30 am one morning to the sound of my alarm clock. I knew that something
was up; after all, I wouldn't have set my alarm for no reason.
In my half conscious state, I figured that it wasn't important because nothing happens at this ungodly hour, so I went back to sleep. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, it hit me that I had volunteered to help out at a downtown soup kitchen along with my religion teacher and a few students.
I headed down there, half angry that I agreed to trudge downtown on a Saturday morning. I arrived at the church where breakfast is served at around 7:00 am and everyone was ready to go. I was informed earlier that some of the people who come to the church were mainly people who were down on their luck and just needed a nice meal, but I was still uneasy. I have to admit that coming from a middle-income family, I am fairly well off and admittedly a little too sheltered.
I see homeless people on the streets on a regular basis and I always tried my best to ignore them, so I knew that this was going to be a challenge for me. I hoped that I would be given the job of passing food down the assembly line behind the kitchen window so I wouldn't have to interact with our guests, but I was shocked to find out that my job would be in the dining room, refilling coffee, tea and milk.
This was the first time that I was really afraid for my safety and at the same time, I was angry that I was so selfish that I couldn't even overcome this fear. I was told right before the doors were opened that there was no need to worry about safety because anyone who showed signs of violence would not be admitted and this calmed my nerves a little. I was prepared to try and deal with drunks, schizophrenics and just plain angry people, but what I saw was really quite different.
I met a man named Charlie, who was about fifty and he told me that he was a former lawyer. This was really an eye opener because I always held the belief that if you work hard in life than you will get what you deserve. Well, Charlie was an exception and so were many of the other people in this room. Many of them used to have respectable jobs but sometimes terrible things happen to decent people. Those are the facts of life, and yet, I realized that I didn't have a clue.
A woman, whose name I believe was Mary sat alone, but she had the most energy from anyone I had ever know. She sat quietly until she suddenly broke out in song. She sang mostly show toons and you could tell that she really had talent; possibly something she aspired to do in the past. I was just starting to feel comfortable when I did meet someone who really frightened me. He seemed nice at first, wishing me a good morning, but then he began telling me that I was doing this for nothing. "You're not even getting a f%#k pay check" were his exact words. I was insulted that he thought I was naïve for trying to help him out, but for many of them, this was the attitude instilled in them after years of homelessness.
I couldn't help but think that he was on the streets as a result of a naïve choice he had made once. At the end of the meal, one man came to get a final cup of coffee and I greeted him by saying "good morning". He laughed, and I couldn't think of what I could have said that was so funny. He then answered, "you never say good morning to a homeless guy". I thought about that for a while because it was a really odd response. "Good morning" was what I said to people all the time. I picked it up after a whole lot of thought and I'm still not positive of what he really meant, but I noticed that everyone there greeted each other with a simple "morning". I had added the word "good" and it was strange for someone who spent his or her days collecting cans to conceive of anything good. That's what he meant and ever since that day I have tried to help in any way that I could to give them a reason to accept a "good morning" from someone. Even if it's just acknowledging someone who is asking for change, that can make a huge difference. I'm not going to lie and say that I'm completely comfortable with homeless people.
Walking alone at night and seeing a homeless person on the street still makes me uneasy but it's important that we all try to do something like this in our life times. The new graduation requirements ask that students gain a certain amount of volunteer hours, so this would be a great opportunity to get in touch with the community rather then sit at a desk licking envelopes. For information, it's a good idea to call your local volunteer agency and they can set you up with a job convenient for you.
Jennifer Choy April 2003
