Austin Powers 3 – Goldmember

Austin Powers 3 – Goldmember

Let there be no doubt, this is a bad film. Not bad in the Michael Jackson sense of the word, street dancing, crotch grabbing jive talking bad….oh no, this film is absolute crap.

For those who don't know, Austin powers is an English spy in the vain of the tongue in cheek Roger Moore era James bond, all quaffeur, nudge nudge, wink wink and implied rumpy pumpy.

Austin is from the 1960s, a time of free love, and bad tie-dye. His nemesis 'Dr Evil' pops up in the present day, so too must Austin to save mankind and get laid.

I enjoyed the first Austin powers, it combined a load of comic ideas that had been kicking around for years and a load of really old tried and tested jokes, it had good music, bright costumes, Liz Hurley in a cat suit (hubba hubba) and the talented Mike Myers in all of the main roles.

The sequel 'The spy who shagged me' was fun too, it was the same formula as the first with introduction of the genuinely funny character 'fat bastard' and the less funny mini-me.

James bond film's, of which this is a parody, use the same formula each time and work, Austin Powers 3 doesn't. Maybe it's because James bond has great stunts and is not played all for laughs, definitely a harder thing to pull off - queue Austin Powers quip…Oh behave!

The character Goldmember is just not funny, played by Mike Myers in a gold shell suit, he has a supposedly funny Dutch accent, I tittered not.

Michael Caine plays Austin's father, he is quite good you think, 'woo maybe its going to all be ok after all', but then he starts doing crap jokes too.

Beyonce was fine as the sexy side kick but she was put in the shade by Myers' flamboyant performance. Many of the jokes are 'in-jokes' there is a 2 minute exchange between Dr Evil and his son Scott, which makes no sense and falls flat. Another joke sequence centers on a character played by Fred Savage (the wonder years kid grown up - how many times has he heard that?)who has a big mole on his face. It's kind of funny...Shame there isn't more fat bastard in it though and he doesn't say "Aye eeet beeebeeees" :(

There are loads of cameos in the film, Tom Cruise, Danny Deveito, John Travolta, Gwyneth Paltrow, Britney…they do actually break it up and make it a bit more fun, but there is no escaping the fact that the plot is a turkey, the script is a dead turkey.

I hope Mike Myers doesn't make another Austin Powers film, the first one was such good fun, Wayne's world and 'so I married an axe murderer' are great too, this has just damaged his track record.

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