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"He said he wanted to marry me, then changed his mind!"

I am a 23yr female who works full time and is currently in the middle of getting my RN degree. I have been dating a 30yr male, police officer; for a year now. We have had several discussions on how we would get married and about having kids.
We recently had the talk about "the big one" marriage. At first he stated he needed some time to think about the matter. About 3 days later he calls me up while he is at work and says that he is ready to be married, that I am the one, and that I make him happy. He even goes as far as looking at rings with his sister. But then about a week later he confronts me, frustrated, stating that he is not ready, he doesn't know if I am the one, and that we don't communicate.
We broke up for about a 3 days on the matter for the fact that he kind of shut down on me. Since being back together I have avoided the whole marriage conversation, so that he doesn't feel pressured. I do ultimately feel, however, that there are some financial issues at hand. Such as I think he may feel that he may not be a good provider or even possibly that he may not be able to afford an engagement ring. I am just afraid that I may ultimately be setting myself up for a let down by staying with him.
I am just confused and have been thrown through some loop holes. Any good advice?
11 Jan 2006
Name: Jewel
Age: 23
Dear Jewel,
Without knowing the situation, I think you could be very right about why your boyfriend got cold feet when it came to committing to your wedded future. No matter how outdated they become, our age-old male/female roles are insistent on staying with us just like the garlic we ate for dinner over a week ago!
You can’t very well move forward until you’ve managed your problems at hand. Especially because whatever caused your guy to run scared last time hasn’t properly been dealt with, but instead swept under the rug. You never know when that pesky fear will crawl its way back out and start upsetting him all over again.
Therefore, I would suggest seeking some sort of premarital or couples counseling to help you work through the unresolved issues. Many couples who seek this kind of therapy find it very useful, and it will help both of you get all your major concerns out of the way before you embark on your life together.
Good luck!
Marissa

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