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"The guy I've been dating stopped calling me!"

I met a guy 1 month ago and started falling hard for him. He told me that he felt the same. Well, to my amazement, he just stopped calling and he no longer returns my phone calls! We even made a date to chat about things and he stood me up. I went over to his house and his friend was there and he totally brushed me off and said, ďIíll call you,Ē but of course, he hasnít.

I am anguished and hurt. I want to see him and talk to him more than anything. What should I do to bring closure to this matter? Should I try calling again? Iím hurting more than anything.

27 Jan 2006
Name: Cassandra
Age: 32

Dear Cassandra,

I am sorry to hear youíre in so much pain; I know how much it hurts when we really start to like someone and then, for seemingly no reason at all, they just stop calling. Iíve been there Ė oh have I been there!

Why does it hurt so badly? Because, as youíve said, you have no sense of closure. You donít know what caused him to stop returning your calls, disregarding your plans and treating you so dismissively. And I donít care what anyone says, thatís a blow to our sense of pride and self-esteem. Plainly stated, it sucks!

Has this guy wronged you? Yes. If heís no longer interested in dating you, he should have the decency (and maturity) to be straightforward with you and tell you that to your face rather than standing you up and acting so rudely. Do you deserve an explanation, which will in turn bring you a sense of closure?  Definitely. Do you need one? Definitely not.

As much as it stings, the facts are the facts. Even if this guy were to call you today, apologize for his behavior and explain why he acted the way he did, do you really want to be with someone who is capable of treating you in such a disdainful manner? Heís been a total jerk to you!  Why allow someone to handle you like a dirty, old dishrag, when thereís a man out there who will treat you like the special, shining woman you are?

His actions speak much louder than his words, anyway; I donít know how many more ways he can show you that heís not worthy of you. So if I were you, Iíd let that be your closure! Itís time to move on.

Good luck!

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