"My new military-man is pulling away from me"

Dear Laura,

If I had to make an assumption about your situation I’d say that your boy is feeling a little nervous about getting too close to you before he leaves for Iraq. Whether it’s subconscious or not, falling hard for you (which it appears he’s already doing) will make heading off to fight even more difficult and intimidating than it already is!

But it does sound like the two of you have a strong connection and there’s obviously chemistry there. And I can say with a lot of certainty that he’s probably very into you, otherwise he wouldn’t feel the need to pull away from you. If he had no real feelings for you, he would have no problem spending time with you and just “having fun.” But each time you guys are together, his feelings for you only intensify, making the prospect of leaving for Iraq that much harder for him.

While being as patient and understanding as you can, talk to him about this. There’s no need - or time - to play games. Be upfront. Tell him that you really enjoy spending time with him and you want to continue to see him before he leaves, but only if he wants that, too. Be sympathetic about his situation, but tell him your feelings are important also, and if he feels this isn’t a good time in his life to be getting romantically involved with someone, it’s only fair that he tell you so you can move on.

Good luck!
-Marissa