"My boyfriend won't make time for me"

Dear Aay,

My question to you is, aside from the fact you’ve been with him for over a year and are comfortable in the relationship, why do you want to be with someone who treats you so disrespectfully?

It sounds to me like your boyfriend takes you for granted. During the past year he’s learned that he can treat you anyway he wants to, and you’ll still be there. While there’s absolutely no excuse for your boyfriend’s insolent behavior, there’s truly no justification for yours, either. By continuously accepting this kind of treatment, you’re showing him that there’s no consequence for treating you so terribly.It’s high time that you demand the respect you deserve!

Through your words and actions, it is imperative that you proclaim both to yourself and your boyfriend that you are a valuable human being worthy of respect, love and consideration. How? Quit taking his crap! He lies to you about being busy and tells you he “doesn’t give a damn” and yet, you remain by his side, ignore his insults and continue to ask him for plans. Stop doing this! I guarantee you not only will he respect you a lot more for standing up for yourself and refusing to accept his ill-treatment, but you’ll respect yourself much more, too.

Before you can honestly assert yourself this way to another human being, you need to firmly believe it yourself.It sounds to me like you need to spend a little quality time with the one-and-only you, so you can remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities you possess that make you so great! Sadly, your boyfriend’s audacious lack of respect has left you feeling dishonored and worthless. It’s high time you reclaim your power; never let anyone have this much control over you, your life or your emotions. You were an incredible person before your boyfriend came into your world, and you will be an incredible person after.

Don’t be afraid to talk openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your frustrations regarding his behavior. Don't just complain to him about his actions; tell him if he really wants to be with you, he’ll shape up and start treating you with the respect you deserve. And if he doesn’t, be prepared to assert your newfound “worthy of respect” self and walk right out that door.

The good news? Your boyfriend’s absence will leave an opening for a REAL man who, when you meet him, will realize just how lucky he is to be with such an amazing, competent, self-assured woman.

Good luck!

Marissa