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"I said 'I love you' and haven't heard from him since"
I've been seeing this guy on and off for a few years. We went to school together, he graduated, but I'm still here. When he's in town, we hook up and go through our usual routine of partying, seeing friends and sleeping together. It wasn't a problem until recently. I hadn't seen him for a long time and I really missed him. He asked me if I was in love with him and he told me 'I love you' and I said it back. It was completely different and more intimate than before. He left the morning after and hasn't called since.
I'm afraid he's just using me (or was really drunk), and his lack of communication is really affecting my emotional stability because I actually am in love with him. We have a lot in common and we've known each other forever, so what is his problem? I know he's busy with work, broken up with his 'crazy' ex., but I'm so depressed over the fact that I may not mean as much to him as he does to me. I'm seriously at my wits end with this. I sent him an email about how I felt and got no response there either. What do you think? Should I move on, call him or wait for him to talk to me?
15 Feb 2005
Because you two are so close your boy’s afraid to forge more than a physical relationship with you because it will turn serious quickly, and from my perspective, it seems like he’s not looking for a serious relationship. And it probably has nothing to do with his feelings for you – it seems he cares very deeply for you – but rather, everything to do with the fact that he’s young and wants to be single, unattached and free.
Your current relationship is the best of both worlds for him – his physical needs are met, and emotionally he feels close to you, and he knows that you’ll be there for him every time he comes back to you. This works perfectly for him, but what about you?
Because he never responded to your letter, I don’t think he’s interested in moving this relationship to the next level. In other words, he’s not looking for a loving commitment. So, in order to keep yourself from getting even more hurt than you already are, I would absolutely, without a doubt, move on. Do not sit around and wait for him – life is too short to wait for a guy who may or may not come around. And waiting for him will only make you blind to all the awesome guys that are standing right in front of you. So open your eyes and take your pick!