"I like my best friend's ex"

Dear Rachel,

If you’re a car zooming towards the edge of a cliff, I’m the big, red flashing lights in front of you warning you stop dead in your tracks! In other words, do not proceed! Danger ahead!

Let’s review the facts: you’re currently in a relationship with a great guy, the only reason you started hanging out with this guy friend of yours is because you were bored and missing your boyfriend, and your guy friend just so happens to be your best friend’s ex. Am I making the severity of this situation any clearer to you?

In my eyes, pursuing your best friend’s ex is a no-win situation for everyone involved. Unless she is Wonderwoman and only takes a month to heal from the breakup of a 4-year relationship, there’s no way your best friend is over her ex. No matter how gently you tell her that you and he have developed feelings for one another, she is not going to understand, nor is she going to take it well. And if I were her, I wouldn’t know which one of you to be angrier with: you, her best friend, for betraying her, or her ex-boyfriend who after only one month of separation moved on to her very closest friend!

And aside from losing your best friend, you can also say goodbye to your current “great guy” – as you sweetly coined him. A lot of people’s feelings are at stake here, and before everyone loses royally, I want you to be absolutely, 100% sure your actions are worth the consequences.

What happens when Christmas break is over, your best friend and boyfriend return from their vacation destinations, your loneliness subsides and life goes back to the way it was before? Can you still picture yourself dating your newfound crush, or are you realizing perhaps you were just using him to pass the time? And if that’s the case, that he was merely a time-filler and a source of companionship, than I urge you to hide your feelings for him inside a tightly locked safety box and throw away the key. It’s not worth ruining both your friendship with your best friend and your relationship with your boyfriend.

And remember, there’s a reason why it didn’t work out with him and your best friend, and you don’t want someone else’s sloppy seconds when you’ve got your own prince charming right in front of you!

Good luck!
-Marissa