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"Help me keep my girlfriend!"

I have this girlfriend but I think she’s depressed or something, because she won’t talk to me, never calls, never comes around and every time I try to IM her she signs off. I recently signed up for David Deangelo’s dating newsletter and found out that I’m probably acting like a total wuss, if you know what I’m talking about.

Today I emailed her telling her that if she wants out, I understand and she can just tell me. I mean, she’s not as energetic or happy to talk to me. It seems as though she doesn’t know what to do or maybe got some bad advice. Marissa please help me keep my girlfriend; how and what do I do to keep her loving me like she used to?

2 Mar 2006
Name: Jason
Age: 18

Dear Jason,

Unfortunately, if she’s depressed and/or not as into the relationship or you as she used to be, then I hate to say it but, the problem’s more on her side than yours. In other words, the ball may not be in your court.

First of all, I understand you love her and how much you want to continue to be with her, but let me ask you this: why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t treat you with the respect you deserve?

As great as she used to be – and maybe she used to treat you wonderfully – she’s not being such a terrific girlfriend these days, is she? And what’s worse is that you’ve tried to talk to her and uncover the real reason behind her disconnected and unresponsive behavior (hell, you’ve even given her an out if she wants it!) and she’s still not replying. Talk about a one-sided relationship!

When it comes to an issue like this one, there’s really only so much you can do. And darling Jason, it seems to me you’ve done it all.

If she’s into hearing you out, than maybe I’d try talking to her one more time. Explain to her that you care about her so much and that you want to be with her and try to make this work. Tell her that you’re there for here and that if she’s going through something or not feeling quite like herself lately, you’re more than happy to act as a sounding board and listen. Point blank, show her that you’ll do what it takes to be with her, if of course, she wants to be with you too. But if she doesn’t, than she needs to speak up and be honest about it so that you can finally move on. Really, the most loving thing she can do for you if she doesn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, is to tell you so that you’re free to find another awesome girl who does want to be with you.

And if that’s the case, that you end up breaking up, than realize that you’re just one step closer to meeting that girl; the girl who is perfect for you and will love you, respect you and – get this – actually communicate with you!

Good luck!

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