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"I miss my ex-boyfriend"

I miss my ex boyfriend so much. We broke up 6 months ago. He told me that he wasn't ready for a serious relationship & that he sees us together in the future. I told him I understand him. So for a while he went through his "one-night stands", & then a couple of months after our breakup, he tells me he still likes me. This was at a point when i was trying to move on from him, in which he completely disregarded. Now, 6 months after the breakup, we hardly talk & when we do, it's a conversation between two friends, nothing more. The thing is, he keeps bringing up the summer (that's when we went out), by emailing me pictures & just talking about how he misses "the good old days". Iím sort of getting mixed signals from him. I heard that he likes another girl, but could he still possibly like me? I want him back so badly. I know that what he is doing is messed up, he doesn't allow me to move on, but I can't help my feelings. The problem is that I don't know how to go from being "Girlfriend" to "just friends" & I don't want to be just friends with him. I want things to be like they used to be.

9 Feb 2005
Name: Lana
Age: 16

Dear Lana,

It seems your ex-boyfriendís favorite hobby is having his cake and eating it too. As much as you still love him and want to be with him and are miserable without him, I urge you to see this situation for what it really is: your ex boyfriend refuses to let you get over him and move on, because doing that would mean he loses all control over you. And losing control over you means you are free to find someone new! And Lana, while your ex can go out, be single pursue other people, the last thing he wants is you doing it, too! You are his safety net, his security, and what happens if he canít find anyone else and youíre not there for him to come back to? Heíll be, gasp, alone!

So now the choice is yours. You can wait around for your ex and keep yourself available so he can come crawling back to you if and when he pleases, or you can take control of your life and do whatís best for you. If it were up to me, Iíd choose option two.

We all love the feeling of having people "want" us. Your ex-boyfriend is no different. His ego adores the fact that he can still have you as well as gather a large circle of other females that he can call upon. And if youíre looking for a steady guy who wants a serious, committed relationship, than as much as I know you donít want to hear it, your old boyfriend is not the one for you.

So Lana, get back out there. Date around and have fun with it! There are so many other guys out there to meet. Donít tie yourself down to one who simply isnít worthy of wonderful you!

Good luck!

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