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"Is he just a flirt, or does he really like me?"

There’s this guy I met. At first he was very serious and mysterious and when I talked to him and I had to practically pull answers out of him. I, unlike him, am loud and cheery. One day I come to lunch and he was completely different. He was louder and more full of life, and so much less shy.

Then some girl called him on his cell he picked it up and put it next to my ear so I could hear and it seemed to me he was trying to make me then jealous. He also puts girls on speakerphone when they call so that I can hear, too. He then told me he had a girlfriend and when I asked if she was pretty he told me that I am better. When his girlfriend came to our table at lunch he kept looking at me. I do not understand where this new personality came from. Now he does little things like look into my eyes and, well I began to like him.

A few days later I was leaving school and he walked up behind me. He put his arm around me and pointed out his car. As I was walking away he yelled “call me ONLY if you have my number." He said that two times. The thing is HE NEVER GAVE ME HIS NUMBER. Do you think it was a slip of the tongue when he asked me to call him? I am so confused because he flirts with me a lot but I see he has a lot of girls to mess around with also, and I mean A LOT. He is very good looking. What do you think all this means?

30 Dec 2004
Name: Alex
Age: 16

Dear Alex,

Maybe underneath all that cockiness and full-of-himself attitude there’s a tiny bit of shyness wedged way down deep, but actually no, I don’t really think so.

Seems to me we’ve got a player on our hands. I think your guy knows, and loves, that girls go ga-ga for him. And the one thing he loves even more than that is making you aware of it! He wants you to know just how desirable he is, because in his eyes not only does that make him cool, but it makes him more appealing to you. And that’s just what he wants.

He doesn’t know how to attract and get to know a girl in the more traditional fashion – through witty conversation, dinner-dates, email messages, etc. – because so far, he’s only had to use his looks to lure the ladies. And since he’s never had to work to get a girl before, it’s beyond him that he has to give you his number in order for you to call him. Other girls probably find his number on their own – maybe he thinks you should, too. Or perhaps for reasons like this he intentionally plastered his number on the girl’s bathroom wall. Well play on, playa, ‘cuz the buck stops here!

He may be cute, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to my fair share of bad boys (Colin Farrell, here I come), but in the end, it’s the guys who would rather spend more time looking at you than their own reflections that are the ones we want to be with. So let the girls who don’t know any better fawn over Mr. Cocky, and save yourself for Mr. All About You.

Good Luck!

Dear Dilemma
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