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"I think he likes me but he won't admit it"

This guy I've had a crush on for about three years, found out that I like him. He hasn't said anything to me, partly because we have no classes together. The only time we see each other is at lunch, and in the halls, but we never talk to each other. We used to poke fun at each other and make each other laugh...that was last year when we did have classes together, but this year everything changed just in the first few weeks of school when he found out that I liked him.

All he does is look at me with googly eyes but quickly looks away as though his eyes never strayed from his little pack of friends. He did that for about two weeks, but then a few weeks ago he told my best friend, who is going out with his best friend, that he doesnít like me the way I like him (And no my BFF would never make that up, she was really bummed about it because she thought it would have been cool if we double-dated.)

That happened about a week or so ago...and now he's started staring at me again, like he was in shock that I had liked him or something. But he still gets that googly look in his eyes. Around his friends he acts like a little dweeb, but around me he's different. I donít know how to explain it, it's like he becomes a completely different person. Last year he would always sing around me, about stupid stuff. For instance: "Blue eyes like the sea, make me want to pee." I just looked at him strongly like he was an idiot. But when I thought about it, it meant that he was looking at my eyes in order to know that they were blue...but the making him want to pee part is what was weird...was I making him nervous or something? Or did he just sing that to get attention?

My instincts tell me he likes me, but he's afraid to admit it...but I could very well be wrong. What do you suggest?

15 Nov 2005
Name: Alissa
Age: 14

Dear Alissa,

Boys can be so romantic, canít they? ďBlue eyes like the sea make me want to peeÖĒ He should just quit school right now and start writing love songs!

Itís a known fact that boys tease the girls they have crushes on. When will they get it through their thick heads that we donít like having our hair pulled and skin pinched?! I think your instincts are right on in this case, he had to notice your eyes first, before creating his ever-romantic ditty Ė your sing-song friend definitely feels something for you.

At your age though, often times, boys donít know how to react when girls come forward with their feelings. Now that your guy knows the feelings are mutual, he may feel nervous and unsure what to do. So, in an effort to protect and rid himself of his anxiety, heís covering up his true emotions by telling your best friend (someone he knows will turn around and tell you) that heís not interested. And in his mind, problem solved! Except that, itís not. Case-in-point: the continuation of his googly eyes every time you look in his direction!

Clearly, heís afraid of putting his feelings out there so donít pressure him or I can guarantee you heíll run, petrified, the other way! What I suggest is going back to acting how you did before he found out about his feelings for you. Or even better, go back to acting how you did before you ever had feelings for him in the first place. The most important thing here is that the two of you rebuild your friendship. You need to both feel comfortable around the other for any type of romantic relationship to progress. So, if you can, treat him like a friend. Even though you donít have classes with him (and even though at first it will feel terribly nerve-wracking), joke with him in the hallway, if he plays on a sports team, ask him how theyíre doing this year, or best yet, make up a silly song of your own and serenade him!

The main thing is that you bring the comfort level back down to where it was before the reveal of your crush and the googly-eyed looks. You want to go back and develop a friendship, and from there - if the feelings are still there - youíll have a much better shot at working towards a romantic relationship!

Good luck!


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