"He doesn't like me, what's wrong with me?"

Dear Amanda,

First and foremost – there is absolutely nothing wrong with you! Way too often girls fall victim to this self-destructive way of thinking because we are conditioned to be passive “takers,” if you will. Well Amanda, it’s time to start thinking and acting like a guy – gather your assertiveness and reverse your submissive “this is happening to me” attitude.

Why do you automatically assume that something is wrong with you because this guy doesn’t have the same romantic feelings for you that you do for him? On the count of three, switch your mind frame. 1, 2, 3…poof! Feel better? Maybe there’s nothing wrong with you at all, but rather, the fault lies in this idiot guy who is missing out on fabulous, wonderful, incredible, YOU! And you know what? This is not just a way to make you feel better, it’s absolutely the truth. You are an incredible person who anyone should feel lucky to spend time with and love, and for someone else not to realize or see that is totally their loss…not yours! In fact, it just creates a great opportunity for you to be available for the guy you’re supposed to be with – the guy that treasures and adores you, and realizes how fortunate he is that beautiful you treasures and adores him back!

Meanwhile, it’s important that your happiness and self-confidence come from within. Never look to anyone else – guy, girl, parent, friend, etc. – to build your self-esteem for you. When your self-esteem is based upon what others think of you, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of hurt, low-confidence and failure. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of us, as long as we love and are okay with ourselves. And self-love is highly contagious – when we like, respect and enjoy being with ourselves, most of the time, others will too!

In the meantime, talk to him about your frustrations with your friendship. Explain that you’ve been feeling a little neglected by him lately, and since your friendship means a lot to you, you can’t help but feel hurt at the way he’s blowing you off. Suggest getting together for lunch, a coke, a walk, a movie, etc. when you both have some free time. Perhaps set aside time once a week or every other week to spend time with each other – and it doesn’t matter what you do, just as long as that time is your “friend” time together.

And always remember, you’re a terrific person, and some guy is going to be darn lucky to get to be with you!

Good luck!
Marissa