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"How do I get to know her?"

Im 18 and from Ireland and would like to know how you get a girl. There's a girl I have fancied for a while in school but I never have the confidence to talk to her. It's beginning to get frustrating for me as I can't stop thinking about her and would give my right arm to take her out some time. Ive been told many times that Im handsome but Im still shy and self-conscious.

I believe i could get this girl and that she is in my league but I just dont know how. I feel I should do something quick as Im leaving school shortly and I dont want to be left with regret. Please help....

8 June 2006
Name: Ryan
Age: 18

Dear Ryan,

Confidence, my friend. Its all about confidence! Thats how you get the girl. As a matter of fact, thats how you get everything!

Here you are telling me youre a good-looking guy and deep down you believe you stand a chance with this girl shes in your league but your lack of confidence is keeping you from going for her. Well its up to you to change that! Build up that self-assurance and go for it.

Heres a trick (a trick I live my life by): Even if you dont feel uber-confident, fake it! Fake it till you make it. It may sound overly simple, but I guarantee you it works. Not only will your girl (and the rest of the world) be none the wiser, but pretty soon you wont be faking it anymore. Youll actually believe and be confident!

As for the single most attractive quality we possess? Confidence! So exude it. Trust in yourself and believe in who you are. Youre a great guy that any girl would be lucky to get to know and go out with your crush is no different! Just the same as youd feel elated to date her, how fortunate shed be to get to date you! Remember that.Say this to yourself over and over: Im the prize! Because its true, you are.

Keep in mind that your crush is just a person same as you, same as all your friends and family members. Of course shes special (as are you), but shes only human. So remove her from the pedestal youve placed her on. This alone will make it a lot easier for you to talk to her.

So now that youve got confidence in tow and see her for the person she is, talk to her! What are you waiting for? Ask her what shes up to this weekend and see if she wants to catch a movie with you. Or ask her to grab coffee with you one afternoon. Or if youre too nervous to jump right into asking for a date, then little by little make chatting with her habit.

Pretty soon, it wont feel nerve-wracking anymore because youll be so used to talking with her, youll view her as a friend (with a lot of romantic potential!).

Good luck!

Dear Dilemma
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