"I'm not his priority"

Dear Jill,

I am really put off by your boyfriend’s brutal honesty – I can’t quite grasp my mind around the fact that he openly said given the choice he’d choose his friends over you. Wow. That’s a huge statement.

The problem here is that there shouldn’t have to be a choice. He should be more than capable, as should you and every other human being, of being in a relationship as well as having friends. And while I realize that some people have a difficult time multi-tasking, it shouldn’t be that hard to focus on more than one aspect of his life at a time. What about his family? I wonder where they fit in!

You’re feeling neglected, and rightfully so. My first thought is to talk to your boyfriend about the way you’re feeling. And you can explain to him that you know it’s not the gifts and how often he says “I love you” that matter, but regardless, you’re feeling like you’re putting so much into this relationship…and in turn receiving very little. Make him understand that all you’re asking for is to feel appreciated, loved and important to him. And essentially, that’s what is important in all relationships.

But if you’re boyfriend is unable or unwilling to see this situation from your point of view, and refuses to give you what you need, than I say it’s time to hit the road. It’s a long life to live with someone who constantly puts other people before you and doesn’t ever take your needs, thoughts and feelings into consideration. And Jill, there are plenty of guys out there who will. But as long as you’re stuck to this one, you’re not gonna find them!

Good luck!
Marissa