Search our problem archive:
"Should I stay or should I go?"
I love my girlfriend but I donít know if I should stay. She complains all the time. We have broken up several times and gotten back together again and I do love her but I donít know whether I can handle it or not. She gets mad about things I have done with my ex girlfriends and she wants me to take risks but I am not that kind of person anymore. The stress is overwhelming and more than I can bear. She recently said in a letter that I have 4 weeks to do all the things I have done with my ex's with her, or she is gone. Should I stay or should I go?
8 Feb 2005
It sounds to me like youíve got one insecure girlfriend. And the worst part is that youíre bearing the brunt of her issues!
It seems like your girlfriend has very low self-esteem, and while she probably cares for you very much, sheís more concerned with making sure that you like her more than you liked all your past girlfriends, rather than just enjoying you for who you are and being happy in the relationship.
She has such low confidence that sheís always questioning why you like her. She obviously doesnít believe in or love herself very much. And unfortunately, loving her as much as you possibly can, and loving her till the end of time wonít make her love herself any better. Itís a personal issue sheís going to need to first realize she has, and then overcome on her own.
And in the meantime, you need to decide whether or not you want to stick it out while she works through it. You arenít a bad guy if you donít want to. Especially if youíre not certain that you love her, want to be with her, or see her as part of your future. If you choose to stand by her, than be there for her and support her. But if sheís bringing you down, making you crazy and burdening you more than you can or want to handle, than absolutely let her go. You donít deserve that kind of frustration and misery in your life if you donít want it.