"I get jealous when my boyfriend hangs with his friends"

Dear Angela,

The good news is that not only do you recognize your tendency to get jealous, but you seem to understand the underlying factor behind it too – your fear of abandonment.It takes a highly emotionally intelligent person to grasp something like that.

Because I haven’t seen the two of you interact and I don’t truly know if your boyfriend has done anything to warrant your jealousy, I can’t say for certain whether your suspicious feelings are defensible, or if they’re just a fabrication of your own imagination and worrying mind. But what I do know is that there’s absolutely no room in a healthy relationship for jealousy, suspicion and distrust; in fact, not only will your constant jealousy ruin your relationship, it will also demolish your sanity and sense of self-worth. The path of jealousy, even if the suspicion is warranted, will never lead you anywhere good; it’s a slippery slope, a damaging downward spiral.

My advice to you? Talk to a counselor in your area about your intense feelings of doubt and jealousy. Through the ongoing guidance of a trained professional, you will be able to understand if your feelings are being caused by your boyfriend’s behavior, or rather, if due to your fear of abandonment, they’re actually of your own concoction. And if you are indeed the maker of your own misery, your therapist will help you work through your abandonment problems which in turn will strengthen you and your relationship.

Good luck!
Marissa