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"When I tell guys I like them, they laugh at me"

Every guy I pursue laughs in my face or isn't interested. Am I doing something wrong or am I just a magnet for jerks? There is this one guy whom I adore. His braces are just a plus to his sweetness and charm, but I’m afraid if I tell him, he will react the same way as those guys from my past.

24 Jan 2006
Name: Brandie
Age: 16

Dear Brandie,

I have a feeling that the guys from your past just weren’t mature enough to handle hearing your romantic professions (it’s sort of like telling a baby to solve an algebra problem – wouldn’t work so well, now would it?). Like computers that totally melt-down and stop working when they’re at their data limits, your crushes past probably didn’t know what to do with the information. So, in true freak-out form, they acted like total, standoffish jerks.

Honestly, this is one case where, “it’s not you, it’s them” really rings true.

Now about your current object of affection, why tell him you like him, when good old-fashioned flirting is clearly the way to go?

Sometimes even the most self-assured, mature guys (and girls!) have a difficult time handling declarations of love – even if they feel the same way in return. So rather than create a possible awkward situation, first try turning up the heat. Flirt, flirt and flirt some more!

There are a million ways to clue him into you feelings for him (and make him realize his feelings for you) without just coming out telling him. If you have classes in common, ask him to be your partner for the next group project; do you play any sports? If so, tell him you’d love it if he came and rooted you on during one of your games. Likewise, if he plays any sports, bring a friend and go watch one of his matches (guys love showing off for us!); Ask him if he wants to see a movie with you one weekend – dark theater, side-by-side seats…need I say more?

The point is, if telling these guys you like them is scaring them off, there are SO many ways to show a crush how you feel without actually having to say the words.

Good luck!


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