"Should I make a move on my friend's ex?"

Dear Emma,

First things first, before you make any sort of move on this guy, do the right thing and make sure it’s okay with your best friend; if you don’t, you may be on your way to Bye Best Friend Land.

I know this might not seem fair, after all, they broke up and now you like him and he may like you. But what you have to realize is that there’s an unspoken rule between friends, and it goes a little something like this: thou shalt not thy date best friend’s ex.

If your friend says she’s cool with you dating her ex, then why not make the first move? You’re right, he may be hesitant to approach you since, as the best friend, you’re on team “ex-girlfriend.” So with a little flirtation (or a lot) show him that you’re NOT off limits! Transform friendship into romance by giving him a sweet Christmas card, asking him to catch a movie with you over the holiday break or get to know him on a more personal level through IM conversations and/or emails.

The point is, making the first move doesn’t have to mean planting a big wet one on his lips; it’s a little like the old writing adage “show, don’t tell.” Show him how you feel through cute gestures and thoughtful conversation. If he’s into you, I guarantee he’ll respond well.

But remember, run it by your best friend first or else, you’re headed for trouble!

Good luck!

Marissa