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"I really like her but she says she's too busy"
About a week ago when I was logged into my Myspace account and was browsing through people, I found a girl with a very nice smile, so I clicked on her picture to read more about her. As I read through her profile I realized that I had known her for a long time, as she was a childhood friend of my younger sister. I had seen her seven months ago at my sister’s graduation party, but before that, the last I hadn’t seen her since my grandma's funeral (she was 12 and I was 16).
So when I saw her at my sister’s party it was like WOW, Tina is all grown up (not her real name). So we talked for a while, and apparently we both had butterflies in our stomach for each other, but neither of us said anything. So now after finding her we've been talking a lot and have somewhat explored the idea of dating, however she is busy with school and work and when I try to make a date with her its usually "we'll have to se what my schedule is like". I also have school but do not work because of a disability, so I have a lot more time to do things.
I also know she has been on other dates, which doesn't bother me because she tells me, and we aren't a couple anyway. I have only been talking with her for over a week and a half. Should I be bothered that she has been on dates with others guys but not me? Or am I just being anxious?
21 Dec 2005
Name: Ryan
Age: 22
Dear Ryan,
I know it seems like if she were really interested she would just make time in her schedule to go on a date with you, but take it from me, the whole “being busy” thing isn’t always a line.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve uttered – and meant – those exact same words to guys I really liked and wanted to go out with! When your calendar is packed, there’s just not much you can do except, as she suggested, wait and see what your schedule is like. And because the two of you have a history of having “crush butterflies” for each other, I’m willing to be that when she tells you she’s busy, she’s being genuine.
So let’s discuss these other dates she’s been going on. Has she been seeing other guys during the time-frame you guys have been talking? If so, that’s just rude! Especially because here she’s telling you she’s busy, yet she’s making time for these other guys. If that’s the case – move on! But, and this is a big but, if she’s telling you about dates she’s been on in the past, although it may seem a tad impolite on her part, what that really means is she digs you BIG time! Why? Because she wants to make herself more desirable to you and the best way to do that is by showing you she’s a wanted woman!
And guess what? It’s working!
So what do you do? Keep talking to her. It sounds like things are going great so far and you want to continue building this newfound friendship with her. Let her know that you understand her schedule’s busy, and since you have a little more free time than she does, you’ll leave it up to her to let you know when she’s available to go out.
Good luck!
Marissa
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