"How often should I call my new girlfriend during our month apart?"

Dear Friend Zone:

It seems to me you’re well on your way past the “friend zone” as we speak! And from my point of view, don’t worry about calling too much during your month apart, because it’s obvious she’s totally into you. Her actions definitely speak louder than words.

Example Number 1: she held an intimate dinner at her apartment for you and her friends. Not only was this a way to impress you through her warm hospitality and home-cooking, it was an opportunity to show you off to her friends. It’s irrelevant whether this was your first or twentieth time hanging out with them because regardless it means you are important enough to her that she wants her friends to get to know you and like you, and vice versa.

Example Number 2: She had a busy week. If it was anything like mine, she barely had enough time to finish her holiday shopping, make it to her appointments and get her work done. But in spite of all that, she still found time catch dinner with you. Just the fact that she would make the effort during such a crazed week to spend some one-on-one time with you shows that you are a priority to her. And that’s a big deal!

Therefore, during the next month, don’t over-analyze how much you should call her or email her. Just do what feels natural. Don’t go overboard and call her 3 times a day everyday, but if you have a funny experience or big news you want to divulge, don’t hold back. She’ll love hearing from you and will be flattered you wanted to share your stories with her.

To make her feel extra special and remind her that you are thinking of her, why not send her a holiday/New Years card with a personalized message on the inside? And if you know she has a favorite hobby, send her a little something along with the card that has to do with her interest. For example, over the weekend I was at a yarn store and in walked this guy who looked absolutely clueless. He asked for my help in picking out yarn for his girlfriend who loves to knit. He didn’t know the difference between yarns nor did he know anything about knitting in general. But the point is that rather than get her just anything, like a shirt or CD, he wanted to buy her something he knew she’d enjoy. And even if he picked out yarns that were the complete opposite of his girlfriend’s taste, she would most likely love the gift anyway because it shows so much thoughtfulness and an understanding and appreciation of who she is.

I think that this sounds like an exciting and wonderful beginning to a relationship. So rather than stress about how much or little to communicate, just enjoy and have fun!

- Marissa