"My boyfriend lets his parents dictate his life"

Dear Irritated,

I can understand your frustrations; if I were you, I’d be irritated too! While it’s unfortunate that your boyfriend’s parents insist on micromanaging his every moment (even outside the office), even more regrettable is your boyfriend’s lack of a backbone.

I hate to say it, but his overwhelmingly busy schedule isn’t really his parents fault – it’s his own.

While I understand he feels the need to do everything his parents ask due to the fact they pay him such high wages, if your boyfriend were employed by someone other than his parents, and he produced quality, high-wage worthy work, would he still feel he owed something to his boss? Probably not.

Working for family can be hard because oftentimes the line between employer and family-member gets blurred. But if your guy is working hard and meeting his boss’s expectations, even if the boss happens to be his parent, than he needs to release the guilt associated with his paycheck. Just because it’s coming from his folks doesn’t mean he hasn’t earned that money.

If your boyfriend is going to continue working for his parents, then he needs to learn to create boundaries. As his bosses, his parents of course get to dictate what he does when he’s at work, but on his free days, the only person who should be in charge of his activities is him.

If I were you, I’d gently explain this to him. On Sundays I’m willing to bet you don’t call your boss to find out the day’s agenda, right? Well, neither should he. If your guy has trouble letting go of the guilt and is reluctant to make these necessary changes, I’d suggest he get in touch with a life coach or counselor who can help him implement healthy boundaries. But if he’s not willing to do anything at all to fix his current situation, then Sweetheart, let his parents keep him.

Good luck!

Marissa