Search our problem archive:
"My boyfriend thinks I'm cheating"
I have done just about anything my boyfriend has ever asked of me Ė he is my world and I love him. But the problem is he always thinks that Iím cheating on him or that Iím interested in his God brothers, etc.
I have never been more in love with him and I tell him I love him everyday; some times I just call him to let him know I care. I tell him I donít want to be with anyone else and Iím not looking at other guys. But he doesnít listen. How do I make him understand that everything I say is true?
2 June 2006
Unfortunately the problem is not yours to fix Ė itís your boyfriendís.
Heís got severe trust issues. For whatever reason, even though youíve proven time and time again to be a loyal, loving girlfriend, he canít seem to shake his paranoia.
I doubt this issue even has anything to do with you, and what concerns me is the way youíre twisting and bending yourself around like a pretzel just to make him happy. You say youíre always coming up with new ways to let him know that heís your world and he never appreciates them or responds well.
The point is, you shouldnít have to do all these things. Trust and loyalty are two of the most important parts of any relationship Ė theyíre the foundation! And clearly, this is lacking from your union. If youíve never done anything to make your boyfriend distrust you, and you tell and show him repeatedly how you feel, than Iím quite certain even if you glued yourself to his side and followed him everywhere so he could physically see that you donít look at, or flirt with, anyone else, he still wouldnít be satisfied!
Is this something you can work on? You can certainly try. Rather than showering your boyfriend with even more love and attention to show him that heís your numero uno man, Iíd have an open and frank discussion with him about this problem. Let him know that you feel you do everything and more to show him you love him, and itís up to him to believe you. Perhaps you two could even talk through these issues with a trained counselor?
But if your boyfriend refuses to heed what youíre saying and continues to make you feel untrustworthy and terrible, then maybe it IS time to start looking in other guysí directions! After all, there are a lot of other fishies swimming in this big sea!