"I'm a virgin and she isn't"

Dear Michael,

You’re definitely not alone. When it comes to doing the deed, everyone has insecurities. Including your girlfriend! So relax, and realize your nerves are completely normal. In fact, if you didn’t feel this way, then I’d be surprised.

The question here is if you want to lose your virginity to this girl. Just because she wants you to, does not mean you have to. And if she’s a good, caring, understanding girlfriend she’ll understand and accept your decision whatever it may be. And just because you may not be ready to do it now, doesn’t mean you might not be ready 3 months from now. So it’s up to you, and please, please do not feel pressured to take this big leap if you don’t want to.

As far as telling your girlfriend about your sexual insecurities, I would honestly keep them to yourself. As I said before, we’re all self-conscious about one thing or another – be it our physique, our performance, our scent, etc. When it comes to getting down and dirty under the sheets, I guarantee you everyone’s got their own concerns. So in that case, if you feel ready for sex and you truly love this girl and want her to be your first, than go for it. And know that practice really does make perfect (or at least better), and while your insecurities may never totally go away, within time they’ll definitely diminish.

But if you don’t feel comfortable losing your virginity just yet, or you don’t want to lose it to this particular girl, than that’s okay too! The decision’s all yours.

Good luck!
Marissa