Search our problem archive:
"I want more but he doesn't"
I've known this great guy for about a year. We started dating 3 months ago and see each other an average of once a week. We always have a good time whether we are at one of our houses or out to dinner. We spend most of our time talking and getting to really know each other. He informed me early on that he does not just want sex; he wants something more meaningful and would like us to be 'friends' first. He says he is very traditional.
We've kissed, but that is it. I'm ready for more, but I do not think he is. For the past 2 weeks he has not returned any of my phone calls, even though he tells me to call him anytime.
I'm confused about the mixed messages I'm getting. Recently we planned a great weekend together and at the last minute he bailed. What gives???
19 Dec 2005
Name: Karen
Age: 40
Dear Karen,
There’s a fine line between “Friends First” and “Friends Only” and I think maybe your guy may feel the two of you have crossed over into the latter.
The great thing about taking things slowly and building a strong friendship first is that it allows you to get to know one another really well and create a deep foundation in which to base a relationship. The problem, though, is that sometimes on your way to Romance-Ville, you get eternally stuck in
It could very well be that this man loves spending time with you, but rather than turning up the romantic heat, he’s more content to remain in the cool platonic zone. Okay, fine, but why isn’t he telling you?
He’s a coward. Rather than tell you, he’d sooner sweep it under the rug and, like I do with dust balls, hope that the situation will just disappear. But, you’re not a dust ball, you’re a person and you deserve to be treated as such.
Even if he seems like the greatest guy in the world, his deficient behavior over the last few weeks says a lot about his character. In the long run, you want to be with someone who adores you and realizes just how lucky he is to be in the presence of such an incredible woman, not some wishy-washy guy who doesn’t see the amazing lady standing right before him.
So do yourself a favor and don’t waste any more time and energy on this guy. He’s worse than a dust ball; he’s a spineless dirt ball. I give you permission to sweep him in all his grime and filth under the rug! Good riddance.
Good luck!
Marissa
Relationship problems? Got a crush? Being bullied at school?
Pose your dilemma to our resident agony aunt Marissa. Get advice!
The latest problems:
I gave him an ultimatum and scared him away
I can't get over him
My boyfriend has bad hygeine
Is my girlfriend cheating?
We're friends but I want to date him
