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"I'm too shy to talk to my crush"


I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend. I'm really shy and have trouble talking to people I don't know. Last year I met my first true crush that made me get butterflies in my stomach and was the highlight of my dreams. This year we're not in any of the same classes, but we sit near each other in lunch. I don't know him that well but I really want to talk to him. What should I do?

1 Nov 2005
Name: Emily
Age: 16

Dear Emily,

I’ll give you two options…ready?1) Talk to him!2) Talk to him!

In case I didn’t make myself clear: talk to him!!

I know it’s scary – believe me; I can be really shy around guys myself. But what you’re forgetting to realize is that guys find it totally flattering when we girls approach them!Honestly! So often guys have to do all the work; they have to make all the first moves including talking to us, asking us out, paying for dates. I guarantee you that they’re thrilled when we take some of this (albeit fun) burden off their backs!

Do you two have any mutual friends or interests? If so, both are great conversation starters! Say you both like tennis, then strike up a conversation about the game. Or if you have a friend in common, use him/her as a point of commonality. Perhaps you know he’s great at math, why not ask him to help you out with your homework? Or maybe you and your girlfriends should throw a little party and invite your crush and his friends? This way, you’ll get to know one another better in a social setting, as opposed to just at school.

Again, I know it’s intimidating, but the more you do things like this, the more confidence you’re going to have. And as I always say, “fake it till you make it.” Even if you’re not feeling confident, fake it – pretend that you are – and I promise you, your crush will be none the wiser! He’ll just love that fact that you seem like a self-assured, outgoing, friendly girl!

Good luck!

Marissa

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