"Ni Hao me old China"
Hello you cheeky bunch,Such alot has happened since we last spoke, where to begin...
We bid farewell to India via Bombay (taxi tout ripped us off one last time as a nice parting gesture) on to China, as it was to be Chinese New Year while we were there we thought it best to join a group tour, first stop - Beijing.
Our group consisted of the leader called Scott, an Aussie & very funny bloke, another Aussie called Alan - 38 & very camp, 'outed' himself on the last night piss up but more of that later, an American called Brent - slightly geeky, very dry (but bloody funny) sense of humour & two Danish girls both called Metta - very quiet but dark horses in the drinking games.
Tour kicked off at the Great Wall, hard work getting up there - we'd had it too easy on the beaches of Goa!! - but astounding sight, slightly spoilt by seeing 'Mike Judges woz ere 2001' etched into the brickwork but the toboggan ride down the mountain side was a good laugh.
Crammed in the Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square and a visit to the Beijing Opera (I know it's getting a bit worrying when we go to the Opera & Matt Hewitt goes to the ballet, you mean you haven't told anyone else Matt??...don't worry Beth burped & farted all the way through), blagged front row seats and also went backstage to see them putting on their lippy.
Very impressed with Beijing, even managed to get a pint of Guinness from an Irish lass called 'Dirty Nellie', just don't mention the price...ooh the thingsI do for the black stuff.
Next leg was an overnight train to Xi'an, highlight was seeing the 'Terracotta Warriors' - hundreds of life size soldier statues created 2000 years ago but only discovered in 1974 buried underground and completely by accident by two farmers, they now live in luxury smoking cigars & signing autographs at the visitors centre.
Next stop was a small town filled with loads of gardens and rivers called Suzhou (pronounced 'Sue-Joe'), made a change from big cities, most impressive garden was 'The Garden of the Humble Administrator', both felt at home there for some reason...
No
visit to China would be complete without a visit to the 'Whore of the Orient',
no not Dirty Nellie again, Shanghai the glossy side of China, real Blade Runner
look to the skyline with all the neon advertising and skyscrapers all trying to
outdo each other to look ultra modern.
Took a closer look from the 54th floor
of one of the skyscrapers (you have to pay to go higher & we are Messy - cheap
- Travelers) and on a boat cruise almost spoilt by some very dodgy Chinese karaoke.
Also visited the 'Old City' area, fascinating contrast, far more atmosphere & originality, eerie sight of skyscrapers looming over this tiny pocket of old Shanghai being eroded by the year.
Customary last night tour piss up started civilized enough, saw the Shanghai acrobats (amazing what you can do with a table these days) & fine meal before heading to 80's night at a slightly seedy downtown Shanghai club called 'Judy's'. All went tits up from here basically.
Alan the camp Aussie got very excited and stripped down to his white vest and began a bizarre but impressive sequence of pelvic thrusts with imaginative use of the leather belt, unfortunately he chose Erasure & Right Said Fred to 'perform' to... The barmaids then jumped on the bar & began gyrating wildly, and pouring Tequila straight from the bottle down our necks (reminiscent of Pre-Euro 1996 'Dentist Chair' antics, I just tilted my head back & tried not to imagine the next days tabloid headlines...)
It
was about this time the Messy Travelers brought some class to proceedings and
jumped on the bar and did some wild gyrating ourselves, culminating in us both
bending over and wiggling our arses in the air, I vaguely remember one of the
Metta's waving a 2 Yuan (about 18p but it's the thought that counts) note tip
at me but I think that may have been a payment to stop my wild gyrating...
Eventually crashed out around 5, now if that's not romance on Valentine's Day
I don't know what is!!....
All in all a great tour, 10 days only a glimpse really, food was excellent and cheap, only took until the last night for me to master the chopsticks too...people were very friendly & helpful, English is now taught from an early age in Chinese schools so loads of kids were saying hello and wanting to practice their English with us.
And now, via a 2 day stopover in Singapore, we're chilling out in Bali. We've arrived in Kuta (the Australian version of Ibiza) so we're going to move on & start exploring the island pretty sharpish.
Hope you're all keeping well, everyone sounds a lot more upbeat so hopefully the post Xmas blues are well & truly gone!!
Groover
& Beth -The Messy Travelers
